Starring Teresa Palmer, Gabriel Bateman, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Alexander DiPersia, Maria Bello & Andi Osho

Directed by David F. Sandberg

Have you ever had nothing to say? We’re all film critics so we should all be big loudmouths, but I’m just a hopeless mess right now. It’s probably because I’ve just seen Lights Out, and it is eighty-one wishy-washy minutes of ‘meh’.

Not-so-funnily enough Lights Out feels more like an over-stretched short than an underdeveloped feature. Either way it still lacks the most necessary ingredients of film-making itself. The entire premise was better seen out of Australia/Canada in 2014, containing several loose threads and no resolution. The acting, script, direction and design are so vapid it’s like they turned up and did their jobs because they were paid. Where the hell is the inspiration?

There’s no central focal point anywhere, apart from its overstated marketing campaign. I think there may be an underutilised analogy of depression which, if they had bothered to use, might have made a salvageable film. But considering the repeat use of the word ‘crazy’ to define mental health I can see this backfiring amazingly.

Golly gosh, it’s not even that scary. I’m a total wuss when it comes to horror films, but it’s nothing more than loud-noise jump scares. And Diana isn’t exactly making the best-of list of horror icons. The only thing that will make this film memorable are the obligatory ten sequels of declining quality, which will have Lights Out looking marvelous in comparison.

What I find frustrating is it’s not that bad, but there’s not a drop of inspiration. If it had been terrible I could go on one of my patented soapbox rants, but there’s literally nothing. Well, it did get me out of the house, and I never thought I’d summon the courage to see a horror film in cinemas. Then again I never thought I would describe a film as ‘meh’ and deem it definitive.

MRD 5 of 10

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